So as I type it's 5am and I cant sleep. Not because I'm stressed or the kids have been awake, nope because I've had a question in my head for an hour so I have had to get up and google the answer. I wont pretend its a serious life changing question but its a question none the less and its made me get out of bed at this stupid time on a Sunday .. 'why do we throw confetti at weddings'?????
Where did it come from? I feel I really should know this given the amount of weddings we shoot!
ahhh good old google.
The tradition of throwing confetti originated in Italy, its act is said to bestow prosperity and fertility to the couple.
So there you go.
But now I'm thinking of all the other little traditions that we have, and often the problems that couples can face when we sometimes don't want these traditions, and our family do or we don't understand them.
About a month before a wedding Helen and I meet up with you to go over timings and the day in general. If the subject of cutting the cake for example comes up we often get asked what do other people do, when do they do it? Our answer is aways the same ' It's about what you want to do'
So I went back to google..
Why do a bride and groom cut the wedding cake together?
The answers are all a bit blah really, it says that it's the first act you perform jointly as a married couple. For timings google came back with - the cake is cut near the end of the day to tell your guests they can leave after the cutting without looking rude..??? eh ???
Ok, a bit of truth here from me. I don't get the whole cake cutting thing. From a photography point of view I can never seem to get an angle that I'm totally happy with, I normally leave it up to Helen (it's a height thing) couples are often told by the venue, that it's done just before 1st dance and yes, that does seem to be the most popular choice but then the cake gets whisked away, you have a dance and I guarantee that you are so busy enjoying your wedding (as you bloody should be) that you don't get to taste that gorgeous cake. Maybe it should be done earlier, or just get the catering staff to do it? Theres no right or wrong but maybe think about how you want to do it and what works for you over what is perceived as the 'norm'. I had 12 wedding cakes. yes 12. One for each table, and we cut our one standing at the top table whilst one person from each table cut theirs, then we ate it for dessert. I was not missing out on wedding cake thats all I'm saying! That might not have worked for everyone but it did for us
So then I started to think about speeches.
If you search the internet there are hundreds of websites telling you exactly what you should say and when .. such as this beauty I found...
'There are generally three people who are expected to make a speech at the wedding and in order they are, brides father , The groom and lastly the best man. No one else is required to speak although other speakers are sometimes permitted.'
That right there, sounds like it was written in the 1940's!! Hmmmmm so traditionally no women then .. times have changed somewhat, but still not many brides are making speeches. We have photographed just Two weddings where brides have made a speech. Just Two. I often ask our brides if they plan to and am told 'no way' and hey if thats what you want then thats as it should be but, what if you think you may like to but tradition dictates that you shouldn't, or your family told you you shouldn't? ..I found this just now on a wedding forum and it made me so sad and cross...
'I want to make a speech at my wedding but my family say I'll look stupid'
Note the MY wedding. Thats exactly what it is. It's your wedding. You should be able to feel comfortable with any choices you make, wether thats not having any traditions or starting new ones. I made a speech at my wedding because I wanted to thank my family and my friends, my friends for keeping me alive on my hen do (ha) ! and just being amazing in general, my family for supporting me - as I moved a few hours away to live with my hubby when we met and I wanted to talk about my husband and just thank him for putting up with me. He returned the favour by talking about a very embarrassing moment when we first met - I could have killed him but he got a lot of laughs so he was happy....
America have a few traditions that are quite sweet. Two of my favourite are ..
The sand ceremony where different coloured sands are poured into one vase to represent the both of you and your new joining, I like it because children can be involved so if you have kids together they can pour a different colour sand to join yours.
It's popular for the groom to always face the his bride when she walks into the room , not just turn his head but stand totally facing her as she makes her entrance. I love this!
Above everything just do what you want to do, its your wedding, own it, make your own choices, if you love the traditional stuff, do it embrace it but if you don't? Well.. traditions aren't rules and even if they are, rules are made to be broken ...
Below are Lucy&Laura.... Our two awesome brides that rocked their speeches !